// finding hope //

During last year's election, I all but completely got off of social media.  Don't worry, I'm NOT going to get political here, just building the plot.  Anyhow, all I wanted to do was get on Facebook and Instagram and troll all of my friends and their beautiful families, businesses that I compulsively shop with, and the occasional stalking of a past boyfriend.  But, every time I scrolled, I found negativity, bullying, rage, hate, lack of understanding, and on and on and on.  I would turn to my husband (who is on NO social media outlets) and tell him how crazy people were!  One day, he said so matter of factly, "unfriend them" ~ and that is exactly what I did.

From that moment forward, everyone who passive aggressively "shared" an article, expressed psychoticness, or posted some bullyish meme got the axe.  I can tell you that doing this made me feel free!  Now I could return to seeing what I WANTED to see and not have to get caught up in the insanity of the things that I didn't.  Now, this may seem close minded, but hear me out.  I didn't admonish these "friends" because we didn't agree politically, I unfollowed them because they had no hope, and their outlook of gloom was becoming contagious!

See, I still believe in that silly thing called hope - and not hope in flawed humans.  I believe that things can always be worse, and that often times these issues are only tiny ripples in time.  What I noticed about all of these people was not their political views, but that they lacked hope.  They lacked the ability to see good.  They spent all day focusing on the bad and then felt the need to "share" their misery with everyone else!  You know who I am talking about... the ones who are cynical, skeptical, and live in despair.  Ultimately, I agree with a lot of what these people say, but, I have hope for better.  I realize that sharing articles and raging against the world online is not the solution.

My life has not been all unicorns and rainbows.  I have been through and seen a lot - personally and as a member of a large family who I suffer right beside.  Together we have experienced cancer, divorce, death, drug addiction, infertility, prison, infidelity, depression, division, disagreement, legal issues and the list goes on. 

Staying positive is not easy in this life, for ANYONE.  Just because you are rich does not mean you don't have problems and just because you are poor doesn't mean you have more.  All along, I have found something inside of me that has enabled me to remain positive, bright, smiley, and even a little naive.  It is called hope.

Here are a few ways that YOU can cultivate HOPE next time life gets crazy:

1.  Document your growth.  Each time I face a period of hopelessness, the outlook seems pretty bad, but I get through!  When it is over, looking back is important.  Look back and think about what you see.  Who were you in that time?  Who are you now?  How have you changed?  Grown?  I can tell you times in my life where something happened and I thought I was going to DIE.  As soon as the storm cleared, I looked back and the message was as clear as day.  My biggest lessons have been on pride, perfection, and trust.  Nearly EVERY trial in my life has revealed these three themes to me as things that I need to work on.  We all have our baggage, but the TRUE meaning of this life is to GROW.  What is this life trying to teach you about yourself?  Remember, character is forged in the fire of tribulation.

2.  Secondly, take some inventory.  After the tragedy, what is left?  In the history of the world, no one has truly lost EVERYTHING.  Make a list of what you still have that gives you joy.  Rest your hope in those things.  If I lost my job, my home, and my dog, I would find hope in still having my family, more time, and less chores!  This is what I mean by finding HOPE.  If you find yourself hiding in your house watching the news and reading about politics, STOP.  Turn it off and take some inventory, what do you still have.  Invest in that.

3.  Reflect.  Surely, this is not the first time that you have suffered.  And it likely won't be the last.  How did you handle yourself last time?  Did you survive? (of course) What did you feel like during that time?  How do you feel now?  These are all questions to reflect on.  This is where keeping a daily journal really helps.   The reason that I have found so much peace and hope is because I look back on times when I felt it was all going to come crashing down, and then saw how that mess fell perfectly together into a new beginning.  Writing my struggles AND blessings gives me a sense of peace, a sense of calm, and most of all a sense of HOPE that this is not the end, only the beginning!

If you haven't already, give our journals a try!  They are truly the most beautiful little things and the format that I have created will help you cultivate a life full of hope!

As this school year comes to an end, I am finding hope in our future through my students.  I see them working hard and forging into the next phase of their life with zeal, perseverance, and focus!

// lessons from my mother //

When asked what the greatest lesson was that I learned from my mother - I can mutter off 1000. Today, I have chosen 7. Some serious, some funny. My mother was born on September 21, 1944. She lost her battle with cancer on April 28, 2009 at the age of 64 but her advice and lessons still ring loud and clear.

Lessons from my mother:


Dessert Is Fine for Dinner
My dad traveled a lot growing up and my mom and I found ourselves eating out much of the time. The best nights were when she said, "Let's go to Harpers and get a milkshake for dinner." Today, I look back on those nights and smile. Just me and mom, having a gourmet milkshake... for dinner.
I will definitely do this with Bailey.

When to Walk Away
My parents never let me quit anything. I can recall taking piano lessons, gymnastics, dance, swim team, guitar lessons, soccer, softball, and dive team all at the same time. I remember being so tired of always having somewhere to be! I wanted to skip all the time, or just not go ever again - but my mom always made me finish it out. All that ended in high school... Tough story to tell still to this day, but I had a soccer coach who really had it out for me and basically quit playing me my senior year. At that time, it was unbearable. I felt my whole life was crashing around me. Starting on that team for 3 years and all of the sudden not even getting to sub in - well, one night, I looked in the stand, saw my mom sitting there and thought "this is crazy - I'm done".
I grabbed my bag, didn't say a word to anyone - not even my coach and walked off up into the stands. I walked to my parents and said, "I quit."
They just got up, and walked out with me. We never talked about it - but I knew that they understood why I did it. Turns out, that experience messed me up so bad that I did not touch a soccer ball again for years! I have also learned that I am not the only person to endure such... I have friends with permanent psychological damage from a jerk of a coach. Perhaps, these coaches don't really know the power that they have.
I will remember this when Bailey starts playing sports.

A Clean Home is a Clean Conscience
My mom cleaned more than any woman I know. My sister and I joke to this day that our mom ruined cleaning for us. I LOVE things clean, but just have some block about doing it. My mom vacuumed EVERYDAY. Every room. Every corner. Every window.
On Saturday's before we could even consider going out to play, we had to clean our room and our bathroom. Easy right? Ugh, no. We had to use a cup of warm water and ammonia and a toothbrush and clean ALL of our baseboards and window sills. Dust every corner, shelf, ceiling, and crevice. Clean the hardwoods with a rag and vacuum the rug until perfect vacuum lines could be seen. Ridiculous. When I was older, I asked my mom about her cleaning obsession.
She told me,

"A clean home is a clean conscience." 

Now that I am tasked with running my home, I couldn't agree more. I work out a lot of problems in my head while cleaning - truth. I will have to remember this for Bailey ;)


Be Faithful
My mother was such an image of what God was looking for in a Christian woman. She walked with God everyday of her life. Many did not understand my mom - she was gentle in the way you need to be to be a mother but also firm when it came to rules. My mom had no problem calling you out if you were rude, disrespectful, or not Christ-like... and that can rub you the wrong way. But then you grow up, and realize that she was right :)
She used to always tell me that it was my job to lead my family in faith and to this day, I make it my work.

Be Supportive
With all of the sports and activities that I did - one thing my mom showed was how to be supportive. She never missed a game, a recital, or a concert. And there were literally hundreds. I remember being younger and my parents picking up my teammates to ride with us to the game - but never me... my Mom was ALWAYS there, sitting in the stands, cheering... my biggest fan.
I strive to always be Bailey's biggest fan - whatever her talent.

Always Wear Blush
I die when I see girls on their way to school these days - in sweat pants and Uggs! When we were in school, we dressed to the NINES - not just in high school, but coming all the way up!
I distinctly remember getting blush on my cheeks for school pictures in kindergarten! My mom even curled my hair for softball games! She told us it was important to ALWAYS look your best, even when it seemed unnecessary.
When my sister had her first child, she was like most moms and laid up in the house wearing a moo moo with no make up. My mom went over one morning and gasped...
"Hillary! Where is your make-up? You need to wash your hair!"
My sister was like, "Uh, I just had a baby" My mom then lectured her on how important it was to wake up every morning, do your hair and makeup and look good. Hey, there are lots of eligible women out there... you need to always keep your men coming back!
To this day, I wear liquid liner on any day that ends in "Y".

Don't Be a Leaky Roof
My sister and I nearly fall out on the floor when we recollect this story. It is one of our favorites.
My mom once read me these verses:

Proverbs 27:15 A quarellsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.

Proverbs 21:9 A man would rather live on the corner of a roof than share a 

house with a quarrelsome wife. 

I don't know why we think it is so funny that nagging women are compared to a leaky roof!! Or that a man would rather hunch on the corner of a house than live in it with a crazy wife!!! Hysterical. But nonetheless true... I know a few of these women and I can honestly say that their husbands would agree. My mother was good at NOT being a nag and staying off my dad's back in order to create peace and harmony in our home. That is very important to have when raising these little kids :)


My mom was never able to see me become a mother but I can feel her presence at times when I am having quiet time, praying and journaling. My mom's obituary really spoke of who she was - I hope to have so many fabulous things written of me when I leave this world :)

Happy Mother's Day!

ELIZABETH "Betty" MAYS WEILAND

Mrs. Weiland, age 64, of Charlotte, NC went home to be with the Lord on April 28, 2009.

Daughter, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin and friend were all titles she proudly held. Betty performed all of these roles with great passion, love and delight. Daughter of Mary Frances Anderson Mays and Thomas James Mays, she was born in Cheverly, Maryland on September 21, 1944. She fell in love with James Richard Weiland, Jr., her sweetheart since the 10th grade at Sprayberry High School in Marietta, Georgia. They both graduated from the University of Georgia in Athens in 1966 and 1967 respectively, where she was recognized for her academic achievements by being tapped into the honor societies of Phi Kappa Phi and Beta Gama Sigma. Richard and Betty married on October 20, 1966. They joyfully raised five children predominantly in their home of 35 years in Charlotte, NC. Betty was an active member of Providence Road Church of Christ where she fervently and enthusiastically involved herself in the Ladies Bible Class as both a student and teacher. She felt she was purposed to be a mother and a wife and did both with a passion of love and devotion. She was a loyal friend and a remarkable woman and will be greatly missed by those who were lucky enough to have known her or to have been loved by her. Her definition of success is that one be heaven bound when they leave this earth.

Betty is survived by her precious mother, Mary Frances Mays of Marietta, Georgia; her cherished husband, James Richard Weiland, Jr. of Weddington; three sons, James Richard Weiland III and his wife Mary Sklar Weiland of Charlotte, Thomas M. Weiland and his wife Leah Gulledge Weiland of Blythewood, S.C., and Ward Weiland of Weddington, N.C. ; two daughters, Hillary Weiland Cameron and her husband William Luther (Billy) Cameron of Weddington, N.C. and Mary Kathryn Weiland Cooper and her husband Christian Riley Cooper of Atlanta, GA. She has one treasured brother and sister-in-law, Thomas Anderson Mays and Marinan Mays of Mableton, GA; and, twelve beloved grandchildren – Joshua Scott Weiland, Anna Leigh Weiland, Edie Cameron, Emma Weiland, Billy Cameron, Alexandra Weiland, Sadie Cameron, Abigail Weiland, Elizabeth Weiland, Harrison Sklar, Ryan Sklar, and Jake Sklar. She is also survived by her dear mother-in-law, Myrtle Baxter Weiland of Marietta, Georgia as well as numerous cousins, nieces, and nephews.

Honorary pall bearers are: Cousins, Fred McLaughlin, Jim McLaughlin, Walter Puryear, Frank Puryear, and Edgar Anderson; loyal and faithful college friends Bill Peers and Philip Hudgins; true-blue friends and neighbors Rodney McSwain and George Varnell, genuine friend and shepherd Charles Dowdy; special high school friends, Henry Garmon, Bill Bryson, David Travitz, Bobby Ross, and Chuck Phillips; prized nephews, Aaron Mays and Dawson Mays; always kind and cordial brother-in-law, Mike Fortenberry; and friend since the age of four, Kenneth Tillery.

Mom... the rebel

Mom and her parents and brother

My mom spent most of her summers on the family farm in Franklin, Tennessee

second from the bottom on the right 

My Mom and Dad at high school prom

my mom with my oldest brother and sister... look at those GAMS!

If you are still looking for a thoughtful gift for your mom, grandmother, stepmother, mother-in-law, or any mother mentors in your life, consider one of our beautiful journals!